I Don't Read All That Much

"I have completed the first draft of a novel that my friends and family who have read it say is very good. It is kind of science fiction/kind of psychological horror, but for juveniles (ages 12-18). All who have read my book say it is better than the Harry Potter series, which I have not read because, to be honest, I am not much of a reader. I have always been a good writer (got all A's in high school and college), but I have only read the books that my teachers assigned because I don't really like reading all that much. I have to admit that I enjoy watching movies. So shoot me. I would like you to take a look at my manuscript to tell me if I am on the right track. I would also like to talk to you about how I might go about getting the book published. Thanks. Emailer."

Wow. Is this a prank sent to me by one of my friends? Come on, guys. Cut it out. An aspiring writer who does not like to read "all that much?"

Okay. Whatever. I'll play your little game.

Okay, Emailer, let me try to answer this as diplomatically as I can, because you said something in your email that . . . greatly offends the writerly spirit in me. You admitted that you do not read.

First, go out and read some books not assigned to you by your teachers. Read the Harry Potter series especially because it is your competition and you have to be aware of what your competition is doing.

Second, join a writers group in your area and share your work with a few objective readers who are not numbered among your family and friends.

Third, revise, revise, revise, revise.

Fourth, read some more books, say, five hundred or maybe a thousand.

Fifth, call me in two or three years when you have been reborn.

Look, emailer, I know that there is always an exception to the rule; but the rule yet remains etched in stone: Those Who Will Write Must First Read.

A novelist's best writing teacher is a novel.

We learn to speak because we first listened; we learn to write because we first read.

On the other hand, I have suspected that over the past decade or so a number of books that have made it onto the bookstore shelves were written by people who had little experience with reading themselves . . . and yet they want to be novelists . . . are novelists . . .

I don't want to say anymore about this because I believe the email is a prank anyway.

Thanks,

Preston