At the Pen Festival 2010

At the Pen Festival 2010
© PEN American Center/Susan Horgan. All rights reserved. Please contact for usage and rights.

December 29, 2007

Are Gamblers More Likely to Cheat on Their Wives?

"Dear Preston,

I am a jealous wife. My husband spends a lot of time at the casino. Everytime I call him, he claims he is at the casino. Sometimes he is there for an entire day. I am not complaining too much because he has won a lot of money on the slot machines. He swears he has been faithful. But I wonder if he is telling me the truth.

It feels kind of fishy to me. Can he spend 24 hours at a casino without cheating? I have been to the casino. There are many sexy women at the casino.

Sincerely, Jealous wife"

Don't worry about it, ma'am. I once did an informal poll of my slot machine friends--both males and females.

Here's the question for males: which do you like better, making love to a sexy woman or playing the slots?

Males answered: (approximately)

40% Playing the slots
40% Making love to a sexy woman
20% Making love to a sexy woman and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.

Here's the question for females: which do you like better, having an orgasm or playing the slots?

Females answered: (Approximately)

60% Having an orgasm and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.
10% Having an orgasm
30% Playing the slots

Once again, it was an informal study with a very small group of respondents (20 in all--10 males and 10 females) and all of the respondents were serious slots addicts who had spent time in GA and whatnot and all of the respondents answered me in a face-to-face manner in a group setting rather than in a blind survey format, so I am not really sure what to make of the results. Were they just BS-ing me or posturing? Maybe.

But what I do know is that when your addicted husband or boyfriend is hanging out late and comes home smelling like casino (stale cigarette smoke and cheap liquor), it is very unlikely that he has been sleeping around.

With your wife or girlfriend coming home late smelling like casino, it is probably the same thing, unless she has compromised herself with some guy in order to get money to play the slots (this happens sometimes).

Notice in the book, P does not cheat on his wife with C.L. until she kicks him out of the house and he and C.L. run off to Las vegas.

All in all, slots addicts are more interested in their gambling than they are interested sex. Ma'am, as I said in the book ALL OR NOTHING, you are not going to lose your man to a sexy woman he met at a casino--you are going to lose him to the casino.

To answer your question, Jealous Wife, actually your husband is being very unfaithful to you. The casino is the other woman. And once she has him, it is hard to get him back. You had better pray he keeps on winning.


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