Writer's Block

"Preston L. Allen, I loved your book, All or Nothing, I have been a fan of yours since I read Hoochie Mama. I have been thinking about writing a book on a similar subject, horse racing which I know alot about, but every time I sit down to write, the ideas just don't come. You have written several books, do you ever have writer's block? What do you do for writer's block. A reader."

Dear Reader, it is new Years Eve and this is my last post for the year. I am going to cheat. A response I wrote to this same question has been circulating the internet for a few years now, so I will just cut and paste it here as my answer so that I can go and celebrate the holiday.

Writer's Block?

The question of writer's block comes up every time I teach a creative writing class, so I'm going to answer it for once and for all.

If you ever get writer's block, do what I do.

Go swing a golf club. Or go watch a movie. Or read a book. Or talk with a friend. Do something. Eat a pizza.

Do anything.

Just don't worry about writer's block. It goes away eventually, especially since it does not exist in the first place.

Here's the deal. If I commissioned you to write a play about a group of friends united by their love of fried conch, you'd go out and do it because, one, it's a job, and, two, you can write. Piece of cake. Your biggest problem would be doing the research on conch, but the actual writing would be a cinch.

On the other hand, if I commissioned you to go sit down and write a great play and I gave you no further directions, you'd sit on your butt and ponder suicide.

That sitting on your butt and pondering self immolation is what the layman calls writer's block. What do I write? What the heck do I write? My god, I have nothing to write about. My god, nothing is coming out of me. I'm blocked.

No you're not blocked. Are you deaf? Can you not hear what your inner writer is really saying? I HAVE nothing to write about.

Again, there is no such thing as writer's block, but there is such a thing as no assignment.

Writing is a job. Sometimes you have a boss. Sometimes you're self-employed. Either way, you've got lots of work to do.

The writer with the boss (journalist, script doctor, ad person, jinglist, jingoist) never has writer's block. Heck, the writer with the boss has too much writing to do.

The self-employed writer, on the other hand, is her own boss, and now I think you see the problem. The self-employed writer has to do TWO jobs: write AND come up with the assignments. When she can't find an assignment, she says she has writer's block. The big lie. That's like a teacher saying he has teacher's block because it's summer and he can't find any kids to teach.

Follow the pen, my brothers and sisters. Follow the pen. What the self-employed writer has to do, when he can't find an assignment is pick up the pen and write. Just write. It's your job, buddy. So write. Write anything. "I can't find anything to write about. There is absolutely nothing to write about. The only interesting thing is that story about the dog and the necktie I was putting off to work on over the summer. Actually, that story is pretty good. It kind of reminds me of the way I used to write when . . . ."

And voila! Writer's block is gone, because it never existed.

The other thing you have to remember is that as a self-employed writer, you are not restricted to writing plays--you can write anything. So start following the pen, and maybe it will become an essay, a poem, a page in the journal, some crappy ten pages of ramblings about a mutt and a necktie, a play, a great play, whatever. It doesn't matter because you are your own boss, and thus, the only standard you set for yourself is that you find TRUTH in everything you write.

So . . . if you want to write more and feel less of that thing called writer's block that we both agree does not exist, then you must go out and get yourself a job as a writer (see list above in paragraph 7).

Or give yourself more structure as a self-employed writer. "I am going to write two pages of dialogue in my new play every day for a month. Then I am going to write a page of synopsis of a future project every night." Then follow your rules. This rigor will work to trick the mind into thinking that you are answering to some boss who requires two pages of this or that each day or she will withhold your paycheck.

There are other techniques like that, which you can find in every beginning creative writing textbook.

But, come on, it's all smoke and mirrors, really.

You don't need that stuff. Structure. Groannn. Yuck.

That's why you're self-employed in the first place! You hate structure. You want the freedom of writing only when it is fresh and original and novel . . . I think the word I'm searching for here is "inspired." You want the freedom to write only when you're inspired. INSPIRATION is your boss. INSPIRATION tells you what assignments to work on.

But sometimes when you sit around waiting for inspiration, you kinda feel like nothing will ever come. You kinda feel like you have writer's block. Here we go again.

Your problem is you want to have your cake and eat it, too.

You want brilliant inspiration to flow from your pen, but you're too lazy to treat writing like a job and do it every day so that you get better at it and better at it until every time you pick up your pen the muses obey YOUR commands.

You want to spend months away from writing while you PLAY AT being a writer, in your smoking jacket, at those chic gatherings, where all the cool writers who, like you, have mastered the "writer's look" hang out--and then, finally, when all the parties have ended, you, with your writing muscles flabby from disuse, expect to just sit down and demand brilliance to flow. Then when, surprise, surprise, it does not come, you claim writer's block.

That's not the way it's done, my brothers and sisters. If you want to be a writer, you'd better pick up that pen.

Every day.

And enjoy the pizza.

Thanks,

Preston L. Allen

Happy New Year!

Why did you cut that great scene?

"Professor Allen,

I read your novel, All or Nothing. IT WAS AMAZING!!

It seems to be a very realistic view of gamblers and their addictions. I know that this novel is fiction, but I can't help but think that you got some of these ideas from your own personal experience . . . Were you ever sucked into the gambling world?

. . . one thing is that reading the passage of How I killed My Beloved Son on your website really helped me understand what was going on in the novel. I don't know why the publishers would make you take that out!! That was such a good chapter!!!

All in all it was a very great book. It only took me two days to read it, which hardly ever happens. I would love to read some more of your books! Which ones would you recommend that have that harsh reality tone? Keep up the great writing!

A. F. "

Thanks for the email, A. F., and for the great semester. It was fun having you in my freshman rhetoric class.

One of the first rules we learn in creative writing classes is "kill your darlings"; i.e., cut those sections, no matter how beautiful they are, that are preventing the work from being as strong as it can be.

Yeah, that happens sometimes. We have to cut things--things that we love--when we edit. It is hard for me to explain (now) why that particular section or any other was cut, but I do know that as we were working on the book, that part of it felt "wrong," either to me or to my wonderful editor Katie Blount, and so it had to go. There were other sections like that, well written passages that slowed the work as a whole, or great scenes that did not fit the overall feel of the book. I think the cuts worked--I like the feel of the book now.

[Check out my blog on Editors on my other blog site (Ing and Bling) at http://www.prestonlallen.blogspot.com/ December 8, What's It Like Working with an Editor?].

Ironically, A.F., some of those cut scenes (3 of them) have been published as stand-alone short stories, and some of them are the basis for the sequel (in progress), which may or may not be called "Son of a P." Yes, sadly, P's beloved son grows up to be a worse degenerate even than his father.

The other book of mine that you might check out that comes close to having that "harsh reality tone" that you speak of is HOOCHIE MAMA--it is gritty and harsh, but as a thriller it deals with a "less real" kind of reality than we encounter in ALL OR NOTHING.

Thanks A.F.,

Prof. Allen

I Don't Read All That Much

"I have completed the first draft of a novel that my friends and family who have read it say is very good. It is kind of science fiction/kind of psychological horror, but for juveniles (ages 12-18). All who have read my book say it is better than the Harry Potter series, which I have not read because, to be honest, I am not much of a reader. I have always been a good writer (got all A's in high school and college), but I have only read the books that my teachers assigned because I don't really like reading all that much. I have to admit that I enjoy watching movies. So shoot me. I would like you to take a look at my manuscript to tell me if I am on the right track. I would also like to talk to you about how I might go about getting the book published. Thanks. Emailer."

Wow. Is this a prank sent to me by one of my friends? Come on, guys. Cut it out. An aspiring writer who does not like to read "all that much?"

Okay. Whatever. I'll play your little game.

Okay, Emailer, let me try to answer this as diplomatically as I can, because you said something in your email that . . . greatly offends the writerly spirit in me. You admitted that you do not read.

First, go out and read some books not assigned to you by your teachers. Read the Harry Potter series especially because it is your competition and you have to be aware of what your competition is doing.

Second, join a writers group in your area and share your work with a few objective readers who are not numbered among your family and friends.

Third, revise, revise, revise, revise.

Fourth, read some more books, say, five hundred or maybe a thousand.

Fifth, call me in two or three years when you have been reborn.

Look, emailer, I know that there is always an exception to the rule; but the rule yet remains etched in stone: Those Who Will Write Must First Read.

A novelist's best writing teacher is a novel.

We learn to speak because we first listened; we learn to write because we first read.

On the other hand, I have suspected that over the past decade or so a number of books that have made it onto the bookstore shelves were written by people who had little experience with reading themselves . . . and yet they want to be novelists . . . are novelists . . .

I don't want to say anymore about this because I believe the email is a prank anyway.

Thanks,

Preston

What Are Your Favorite Games?

"What are your favorite games at the casino? I notice that in your novel, P played the Build-your-own Lotto a great deal and Texas Hold'em. A reader."

My favorite games are Omaha hi-low, as far as cards are concerned and Wheel of Fortune, as far as slots are concerned.

In the book, P played Texas Hold'em because it is a game America is hooked on, though I personally believe that Omaha is a much more exciting game. P also played the lotto machines because numbers (rather than fruit) hold greater symbolic possibilities.

Thanks,

Preston

Should I Copyright my manuscript?

"I have written a new novel that I think has a great chance for commmercial success that I would like you to look at. I am also sending it out to many agents and publishers. Before I do that, should I have it copyrighted?"

Yes, have it copyrighted.

A few years ago I would have told you not to worry about that; I would have told you that no one is likely to steal your manuscript in this business; I would have told you to use the poor man's copyright; i.e., send a copy of the manuscrip to yourself via the U.S. Post Office and do not break the seal until you need to prove your case in court.

These days, now that I have seen what looks like versions of my work and my friends' works in film and what not, I am now advising that all writers copyright their work.

Do it.

Thanks,

Preston

I have a manuscript I would like you to edit

"I loved your book! P is insane! I have a manuscript about gambling that I would like you to look at. I heard from one of your colleagues that you also edit manuscripts. My book is set in Europe. I am in the Air Force. A writer."

You loved the book? Thanks!

At this time, I pretty much have all of the manuscripts that I can handle and the new semester begins next week at the college. But contact me at the end of January, the beginning of February, and we'll see if we can't set something up. I've never edited a gambling manuscript. It might be fun.

Thanks,

Preston

Are You P?

"Are you P? Your first name is Preston and the hero of your book is P. A reader."

Am I P? No, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.

That one is hard to answer. I'll save it up until I get on Oprah. Well, of course I had to be acquainted with gambling to be able to write this book . . . and the story does begin in Miami, where I live . . . let me put it to you like this, there but by the Grace of God go I.

Because of what I have lived through, I do not judge gamblers. I do not judge P. I only try to tell their stories.

Thanks for the question,

Preston

I Have a Friend Who May Be a Gambler

"I have a friend who reminds me of the character THE PROFESSOR in your book. He may be a gambler. How do you know if someone you love has a gambling problem? What are the signs? A reader."

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on this. I'll give you something I found on a website called Caringchurches.com. It is pretty similar to what I feel, though it is stated a little bit different from the way the recognized authroities state it (go to http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm#symptoms_gambling_addiction to see what the recognized authorities say).
_____________________________
. . . From Caring Churches.com . . .

STAGE ONE: The gambler develops a dependence on gambling.

-- Negative changes take place within the gambler.
-- These changes are not yet obvious to others.
-- The gambler has a new sense of competence, power, and control.
-- The gambler feels a sense of euphoria and exhilaration.
-- The gambler views gambling as harmless entertainment or as a release.

STAGE TWO: A gambling problem becomes obvious to those closest to the gambler.

-- The gambler's whole lifestyle is affected by gambling.
-- Relationships with others are negatively affected (arguing with family and friends, conflict with coworkers).
-- The gambling problem becomes obvious to those closest to the gambler.
-- The gambler's productivity decreases (irresponsibility, procrastination).
-- The gambler becomes more consumed with gambling.
-- Lies and deception become a regular part of the gambler's life.
-- The gambler begins stealing money and using other dishonest means to gamble.

STAGE THREE: The gambler loses all control. Gambling becomes his or her master.

-- The euphoria from gambling is gone but the gambler keeps gambling anyway.
-- Gambling addiction dominates every facet of the gambler's life.
-- The gambler becomes totally enslaved to gambling.
-- The gambler's social world consists mostly of other gamblers.
-- The gambler's most important relationships become severely damaged or destroyed.
-- Most of the gambler's awake hours are spent gambling or taking steps to gamble.
-- Chaos and complete loss of control characterize the gambler's life.
-- Legal problems mount (the gambler may be arrested for stealing or embezzling).
-- The gambler files for bankruptcy.
-- The gambler begins contemplating suicide.
-- The gambler attempts suicide.

_________________________

It's pretty grim the way caringchurches.com states it, but I have known gamblers in every stage listed above, so I agree with them.

Thanks for your question,

Preston

Tell Me About Your Book

"Tell me about your book. I think I'd like to purhchase it. And what is your favorite part of the book? A reader."

Thanks. Go ahead and purchase it right away! Don't let me stop you. Hahaha.

But believe it or not, for many writers this is a rather difficult thing to do--describe their book. I have known writers to spend days trying to come up with a 100-word blurb. For me, it is easier to say what my book is about after I have listened to readers describe how they felt when they were reading it. My readers say that the book is about a man who hits it big and learns that winning is not everything. My readers say that the book is a cautionary tale about how addiction destroys us. My readers say that the book is not really about gambling--but about addictions of all kinds. My readers say that the book is clever and humorous. My readers say that the book is hard to put down because P's voice is so different from anything else that they have read and yet so compelling.

I like what my readers are saying about the book.

When I wrote the book I was kind of in a zone--the protagonist, P, I felt, was speaking through me and I wasn't always prepared for what he was going to say. I wasn't always in control, I felt, until the editing stage. When I started writing the thing, I thought that I was P, but no--P was somebody else. P was himself.

My favorite part of the book . . . the whole book . . . well my favorite scene, maybe, is when P's girlfriend C.L. is caught cheating at blackjack--when she gets arrested, a lot of important things about their relationship come out--I like how that chapter reads. I also love the scene with P's father, the macho, old school gambler. And I love every scene when P is in a casino, his true love.

Thanks for your question,

Preston

Are Gamblers More Likely to Cheat on Their Wives?

"Dear Preston,

I am a jealous wife. My husband spends a lot of time at the casino. Everytime I call him, he claims he is at the casino. Sometimes he is there for an entire day. I am not complaining too much because he has won a lot of money on the slot machines. He swears he has been faithful. But I wonder if he is telling me the truth.

It feels kind of fishy to me. Can he spend 24 hours at a casino without cheating? I have been to the casino. There are many sexy women at the casino.

Sincerely, Jealous wife"


Don't worry about it, ma'am. I once did an informal poll of my slot machine friends--both males and females.

Here's the question for males: which do you like better, making love to a sexy woman or playing the slots?

Males answered: (approximately)

40% Playing the slots
40% Making love to a sexy woman
20% Making love to a sexy woman and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.

Here's the question for females: which do you like better, having an orgasm or playing the slots?

Females answered: (Approximately)

60% Having an orgasm and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.
10% Having an orgasm
30% Playing the slots

Once again, it was an informal study with a very small group of respondents (20 in all--10 males and 10 females) and all of the respondents were serious slots addicts who had spent time in GA and whatnot and all of the respondents answered me in a face-to-face manner in a group setting rather than in a blind survey format, so I am not really sure what to make of the results. Were they just BS-ing me or posturing? Maybe.

But what I do know is that when your addicted husband or boyfriend is hanging out late and comes home smelling like casino (stale cigarette smoke and cheap liquor), it is very unlikely that he has been sleeping around.

With your wife or girlfriend coming home late smelling like casino, it is probably the same thing, unless she has compromised herself with some guy in order to get money to play the slots (this happens sometimes).

Notice in the book, P does not cheat on his wife with C.L. until she kicks him out of the house and he and C.L. run off to Las vegas.

All in all, slots addicts are more interested in their gambling than they are interested sex. Ma'am, as I said in the book ALL OR NOTHING, you are not going to lose your man to a sexy woman he met at a casino--you are going to lose him to the casino.

To answer your question, Jealous Wife, actually your husband is being very unfaithful to you. The casino is the other woman. And once she has him, it is hard to get him back. You had better pray he keeps on winning.


Preston

Happy New Year

Things are going well with the book!

Get a copy of it at a Barnes and Noble near you.

If you live in the Miami Area (of Florida), you can get a copy at any of the Books and Books locations or at the Sunset Mall Barnes and Noble.

Thanks,

Preston