Memorable Moments in the Casino

Q: Wow! You really blasted that guy. But you speak truth. I found your novel to be realistic, well written, and touching, but the quality I like most about it is its humor. Besides the things you wrote about in the book, what are some of your most memorable moments from being a gambler in a casino? You are the real deal.

A: Thanks for the question, though I do not think I fully understand it. Are you asking what my most memorable moments were, like my most memorable, or biggest, wins, or are you asking about the most memorable things I've witnessed?

At any rate here goes.

I saw a crowd gathered around a car in the parking lot one night as I was leaving the casino. There was a guy sprawled out under the car--I think it was a truck or an SUV--I think maybe he was trying to get himself killed. Maybe he had lost too much money that night. Maybe he was just drunk. The police came and dragged him out and arrested him.

I saw a crowd gathered around a car in the parking lot one afternoon as I was leaving the casino. There was a three or four foot alligator under the car (this is Florida--the casino is sort of in a swamp). People were just kind of gathered around looking at the alligator. This incident is not related to the one above.

I saw an elderly couple (I think they were Canadian tourists) hit all four screens on MAX BET and they had no idea what they were doing. They played all four screens as "000000"--they could not figure how to get the machine off zero--they could not figure out how to lower the bet--and the dang thing hit! Totally unfair to the rest of us poor bastards.

I saw a guy begging money from friends to play the Super 7 machine--a game I do not play and do not really understand--and when he had gotten the money together he sat down and hit $124,000 on the first push.

I saw a guy have a heart attack at the poker table. When he came back to the casino like two months later, they gave him the $22.18 stack that he had left at the table.

I was at the table when a guy hit back to back royal flushes. Amazing! A-freaking-mazing! I don't think that has ever happened anywhere before on the planet earth! Amazing! The jackpots were worth like $20,000 combined. The winner tipped the dealer like ten dollars. Ten measly freaking dollars. You could see it on the dealer's face--disappointment. What can you do? Some players are cheap bastards.

An Asian guy we used to call "Bruce Lee" because he did really look like Bruce Lee was so broke from gambling and losing that he didn't even own a car and had to walk to the casino everyday to play poker with us. (I think I heard somewhere that because of his gambling, he had had his car reposessed.) Anyway, he got lucky one day and hit a Royal Flush with a big $30,000 jackpot. The first thing Bruce Lee did? He got up and went across the street to a buy-here-pay-here lot and paid $4000 cash for a little Hyundai. Then he came back to the table and played all night. Now he had a car. No more walking for Bruce Lee.

This guy we all knew came in and blew his mortgage. He was on his way to pay his mortgage, which was already like three months in arears, and he stopped into the casino and blew it. Now he's crying and moaning and begging us. Well, we're all gamblers. We know how it is. So we pitch together and the most we come up with is like a couple hundred dollars. He needs at least $1500 for his mortgage. It's not that we're cheap. He's begging from us at a bad time. We're all on like a bad streak. So the only thing he can do is take the couple hundred we gave him and try his luck in the machines again. So he plays the machines and he hits $1500 in a little jackpot. Thank God. Now he can pay his mortgage. While he's waiting to be cashed out. He puts twenty dollars in the machine right next to his and hits again. $500! While he's waiting to be cashed out of these first two lucky machines, he puts some money in the next machine in line and hits again! Like $500-600! Amazing. Three machines in a row! When they finally cashed him out, he was about to put some money in another machine, and we were all watching anxiously to see what was going to happen, some of us chanting, "Lucky money never loses. Lucky money never loses," and he stops. He paid us all back and left. He said, "I better go pay my mortgage while I can." We were all shocked. Shocked! We were all grumbling, "What an idiot! How can he leave when he's hot? What a freaking idiot!"

We're playing poker one day at the casino. The Hold'em bad beat jackpot is up to like $160,000--which means the bad beat loser gets $80,000, the bad beat winner gets half that at $40,000, not bad, and the other six players at the table split the final $40,000, which is close to like 7 grand each--not bad for just sitting at the table. We are playing at the table for like 12 hours straight, hoping for that bad beat to hit. Suddenly the pit boss announces "BAD BEAT!" Shouts of joy go up. We look around--our table didn't win, so we want to see which table in the casino, which lucky players, hit the bad beat. Would you believe it was freaking world famous linebacker from the freaking Miami Dolphins who won the bad beat? And the table was full of really big guys who looked like maybe his Dolphins teammates. Lucky bastards. A table full of professional football players. They're already rich and now they win the bad beat. A-freaking-mazing!

There's lots more, but I can't go on. That last one really got to me. I'm not saying Zack and the boys didn't deserve the money, but the rich just keep getting richer. The rest of us just donate.


Thanks,

Preston

How Does One Stop Gambling?

Q: Loved your book. If there is one thing you know, Mr. Allen, it is the gambling world. Your book brought many smiles to my face and it also made me face a tragic reality. I am hooked and maybe there is no way out for me. This gambling thing is ruining my life. Believe it or not, I am the kind of guy you wrote about who will borrow money to gamble and leave his bills unpaid. I went for three weeks without gas to heat my home because I could not afford to pay the gas man. I froze my butt off! The funny thing is that minutes before I left the casino that last time, I had won enough money to pay the gas man to turn my gas back on AND TO BUY FOOD. Sadly, like most gamblers, I kept right on playing and soon had LOST IT ALL BACK. I drove back home to a freezing house. I froze for three weeks. I didn't even have enough money to buy one of those portable electric heaters. Every night as I lay bundled up in 300 blankets, I cursed myself for being so stupid. Why couldn't I just leave when I was winning? Why couldn't I just get up and leave? The funny thing, the sick thing, the really sick thing, is that during those three weeks of cold, I was twice able to borrow money from friends to turn back on the gas and what did I do with the money they loaned me? I went to the casino and lost it all. During those three weeks of cold I thought about a lot of things under those blankets. Like my life savings, which was all gone, like the love of my life, who had dumped me, and most of all how pathetic I was under all of those blankets thinking about how angry I was that I could not gamble. That's right. Despite all that I had lost, the main thing on my mind was to gamble some more. I had lost over a hundred thousand dollars in life savings. I had blown, as usual, that month's pay check (I get paid once a month). I was freezing my butt off in the richest country in the world. Enough was enough. Since that time I have been strong enough to fight it. In the last 30 days I have only visited the casino like twice and have had the strength to get up and leave with money in my pocket when I started losing. It is hard, but I am fighting it. I think I can beat this thing. Memories of the cold are hard to forget.

A: Thanks for the letter. Sorry that I had to edit it. I loved it, but there were a few granmmar issues and also I don't think it is wise to put your personal information out there like that.

I am glad that you are fighting it, and I wish you luck. But in the interest of the uninformed who are reading this post I have to be blunt with you:

You are full of crap and you will fail.

Your strength alone is not enough to stop you from gambling. Your strength? LOL. You are a punk. You blew a hundred grand after working for God knows how many years at a job you probably hate and just because you grew icicles on your nose, you think you are strong enough to beat gambling? Wake up, Frosty the Snowman! You are in denial, and denial is going to suck another hundred grand out of you if it doesn't kill you first. Are you a casual gambler? No. You are a GAMBLER in all CAPS. If you are a gambler, there is no in between. The casino is there to do one of two things: Take ALL of your money, or convince you to commit suicide.

You were not strong enough to stop when you were down ten grand. You were not strong enough to stop when you were down 50 grand. You were not strong enough to stop when you had blown 100 hundred grand (and probably blown through all of your credit cards) and were living paycheck to paycheck. Now you actually believe you are strong enough to stop after a few cold nights? Brother, the nights are always cold for a gambler.

If you want to show strength, pick up the phone and dial 1-888-ADMIT IT. Join GA now! These people can help you--if you are ready to be helped and not just talking crap, like I know that you are.

If you want to show strength go back to the casino and speak to the floor man or the pit boss. Tell them these words: I WANT YOU TO BAN ME FROM THIS CASINO FOR LIFE.

They will do it, and you will not be allowed to go back there.

You, my friend, have had a chilly winter, but you have not hit rock bottom yet. But you will one day soon, and it is going to make your chilly winter seem like a warm day at the beach.

Stop talking crap and get help. You cannot do it alone.

None of us can.

One does not stop gambling by going to the casino! Duh!

Great letter, though.

Thanks,

Preston

Where Do Gamblers Get Money to Gamble?

Q: I gave your book, ALL OR NOTHING, to my girlfriend who enjoyed it too but asked, "Where do gamblers get all of that money to spend gambling?"

A: LOL. Good question. The answer is that they beg, borrow, and steal. I have met gamblers who liquidate their life savings, life insurance, 401Ks, credit cards, college savings funds; I know gamblers who sell their own blood, their fancy cars, rent out rooms in their houses, take out second and third mortgages, blow their inheritances and much more than that. By the way, these are the non-criminal gamblers.

We have all heard stories about the embezzlers and prostitutes of the gambling world--at least the ones who get caught.

But think about a woman or man who remains with a wealthy partner, whom they hate, because he/she provides them with money to gamble. Think about people who stay at a job they hate because it provides them with money (or the flexibility of hours) to gamble.

I know of bus drivers (obviously) who gamble. I know of police officers who gamble. I know of physicians who gamble. And when I say "gamble," I mean that they are addicted gamblers I have met regularly in the casinos and in GA.

Where do they get the money to gamble? Lots of places, but mostly from other people. In fact, if gamblers weren't addicted to gambling, they would make great fundraisers.

I know of a gambler who was down 2k after a night at the machines. He had the usual complaints--he was not going to be able to pay his water bill, he was not going to be able to pay his electricity, he was not going to be able to buy groceries, and so on and so forth. So a few of us got together and helped him out a little bit, and then he contacted some other friends of his, and within a few hours he had collected more than the 2k he needed to pay all of his bills. The next night at the casino he blew another 2k or so and the whole process of begging started over again. The only thing he didn't pay was his bills. His electricity was cut off for like the millionth time and his water too, but he had borrowed 2k to gamble with.

Thanks,

Preston

Black History

Q: You are a pretty good writer. I enjoyed your novel ALL OR NOTHING. It is the best book I have ever read seriously without wanting to put it down. As an African American reader to an African American writer, I am wondering if you are ever going to write something that gives back to the community. Are you ever going to write a book about black history that can be used in schools?

A: Thanks for the kind words about my book.

Every writer has a genre that he/she writes in. At this moment I am not writing historical fiction. That is not my genre. However, I do address many cultural and social issues in my work, and race relations in America is one that shows up from time to time because of my own personal experience with it. Examples of it can be found even in my erotica (See "Southernmost Triangle" in WANDERLUST: EROTIC BLACK TRAVEL TALES edited by Carol Taylor).

Or are you asking whether or not I am going to write a biographical work on, say, Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King, Sojourner Truth? To answer that question let me say that at this time I am writing fiction exclusively--but I do have some projects in mind for the future.

Thanks,

Preston

Are You Gay?

Q: I am a woman who has read all of your novels and all of your erotica and most I think of your published short stories. Are you gay or bisexual? I'm not trying to offend you. I'm complimenting you I think. Some of the things you say and your attitude remind me of a gay friend I have and he is very humorous. If you do not publish this question or answer it on your blog I will understand.

A: I am not gay or bisexual.

In real life, no one ever asks me this question (because I am too macho!). But on the blog, I have been asked this question by readers at least 6 times. Maybe because gays and lesbians show up in my work with some frequency? Because I have many gay and bisexual friends? I do not know.

So there! I have answered the question. I am not gay. No, I am not hiding any sexual secrets. No, I am not repressing any hidden desires. I like women--a lot. Too much.

LOL. Thanks for asking.

Preston

Jesus Boy

Q: When is your next book due out and what are you working on after that?

A: The next book is called JESUS BOY and it is due out April 1, 2010. I am going to create a blogsite specifically for the book as soon as the cover and etc. are confirmed.

Well, as you know, there are a couple of books that I was born to write: A book about gambling, a book about church, a book about car salesmen, and a book about fathers. I took care of the gambling theme in ALL OR NOTHING. I did my church book in JESUS BOY. I have two more to go, car salesmen and fathers.

Two down.

Two to go.

In the meantime, I have completed a mystery/thriller about a female cop who is abducted by a serial rapist, a fantasy novel set in a world in which humans are pets, and two short story collections: one that pays homage to the work of Edgar Allan Poe, and another that pays homage to depression era gangsters John Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd, and Baby Face Nelson.

Thanks,

Preston

Nostalgia Equals 20 to 30 Years Ago

Q: I have written a novel loosely based on my life, much of it set in the sixties through eighties. My agent has tried and failed to make a book deal she says because the publishers feel that the book needs to be updated a few decades and set in the eighties through the millenium. They want it to be more current, especially since the focus of the book is not really about those decades, but about my life and family events, which just happened to occur during those decades.

My agent agrees with the publishers who have rejected the book; thus, I am in the process of re-writing it to be more current, although with some misgivings. What do you think? Should I set my book in recent decades to make it more current?

A: If you have a publisher who is willing to make a deal based on an update and the update does not ruin the book, then go for it.

It seems that most publishers want novels that are set in present day unless there is a very good reason for setting them in the past. This makes sense, I suppose, because readers are more likely to buy books that are current.

Nostalgia does sell, however. These days people seem to be interested in the seventies and eighties. The sixties are still popular. Every now and then we get a few books set in the fifties and forties, but not so much anymore. Books about the fifties were very popular back in the seventies and eighties.

Here's something I was told by a writer friend. I do not know if this is a hard and fast rule (and I myself do not follow it)--but here it is; if the year itself is irrelevant to the plot, always set your book in present day: and if you must set it in the past, set it 20-30 years ago.

He argued that setting it 20-30 years ago will attract the "nostalgia" readers. The most active book buyers, those in the 30 to 50 age range, will be attracted to a book set during the good old days when they were teenagers and young adults.

Ten years ago is too recent--you might as well update it and make it present day. The people who were teens to young adults ten years ago, are still young adults, and as they are still getting their careers in order they are not yet in that place where they will yearn for the good old days.

Forty, fifty and more years ago is too far in the past--you might as well update it and make it present day. The people who were teens to young adults forty and more years ago have most likely already fallen in love with cherished classics (and specific writers) who feed their need for nostalgia--it will be hard to supplant them.

I do not know if I agree with this, and I am still mulling it over, but there you have it.

Thanks,

Preston

Should I Show It to My Friends?

Q: I’m currently writing a novel, and I asked my close friends to read it and let me know what I could do to improve it.

1. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I would like for this novel to appeal to teenagers and adults, without being too graphic, and have some elements of realism to the characters and plot (even though it is a paranormal novel).

2. Any suggestions?

Thanks,

H.D.

A:

1. Finish writing the book before you show it to anyone.

2. Join a writers group or take a creative writing class.

3. Read as many books in that chosen genre as you can.

4. Don't write down to children and teenagers. They will see your con coming from a mile away.


Thanks,

Preston

I Have Ideas But Not Enough Time to Write a Novel

Q: Hi Preston L. Allen. May I call you Preston? Many years ago I was in an MFA program but left it after a year to get married and start a family. I have since published several short stories in literary magazines and have a pretty good idea for a novel, but with the time constraints on my life due to full time employment and raising two children I find it impossible timewise to complete such a lengthy prose work. After two years of working on the book, I have a completed outline and a mere thirty pages of prose. I read your blog on "getting up early in the morning and working on the book every day." That does not work for me. I teach high school English and am too tired to get up so early. I need more time. Writing takes time. Where can I find more time?

Thanks, J.O.

A: At the rate you are going, in twenty years you will be on page 300 and the book will be completed. And it will probably be a great book because of all of the time you spent working and thinking about it. It will be your masterpiece. Your Magnum Opus. A book like that is worth waiting twenty years for.

On the other hand, you should clean out your emails if you want motivation to write your novel.

What?

Clean out your emails.

This week my English Department email account started bouncing back emails. The account was over full. I was way beyond the limit. I had over 3000 emails that needed to be deleted.

SO I began to delete old emails, but since some of them were important things that I needed to keep for a variety of personal and work related reasons--I opened a WORD file and began cutting and pasting the old emails into it.

I only went back a year and a half, which was enough to free up space so that I could use the system again.

A year and a half . . .

I only went back a year and a half--and I filled a WORD file that is 390 pages long, a page count that is longer than any novel I have ever published.

In other words, I wrote, in one year and a half, at least enough email prose to fill a good sized novel . . .

How much email prose have you written?

How much Myspace prose?

How much Facebook?

How Much Text Message?

How Much Twitter?

Maybe you aren't the kind of writer to rise at 5 a.m. But are you the kind who will email yourself, each day, a few paragraphs from your novel in progress?

The key is to steal some writing time from time that you ALREADY spend writing.

Your new novel will be ready in a year and a half.

I hope this helps, J.O.

Thanks,

Preston

What part of writing do you hate

Q: What part of the writing process do you hate?

A: There is no part of the writing process that I hate. I love to think about stories. I love to write stories, even long ones like novels, that may take years to complete. I love revising stories, even long ones like novels, that may take years to revise. I like doing research for stories I plan to write. I like workshopping stories with my friends who are writers and readers. I like getting feedback about my stories, even negative feedback. I like giving feedback. I like working with editors.

If there is a part of the process that I like least it would have to be trying to read my handwritten comments and fixes, and transfer them from the page to the computer. In truth, I do not dislike that part of it either, per se, but it has become more difficult because of my ever weakening vision.

Thanks,

Preston

Rejection

Q: How do you deal with negative criticism as a writer? Does it hurt?

A: Now, I have been fortunate. Knock on wood. Most of my criticism has been positive.

To answer your question, yes, negative criticism hurts. But it is a part of being a writer, and an important part. It keeps you on your toes. It keeps you performing at a high level. It keeps you from getting comfortable and slacking off.

Furthermore, you have to put it all into perspective. We writers get rejected a lot. Rejections hurt a lot, and we get rejected a lot. So when we are reading a piece of negative criticism of something of ours that was accepted by a publisher and is published and in print, it is but one defeat after a string of many successes. In short, it is a victory to find oneself in a position to even be the object of negative criticism.

And here is something else, criticism, any kind of criticism, means that you are being read, and that is not a bad thing.

Thanks,

Preston

I want to Write

Q: I want to write but my grammar is not so good. Should I give up?

A: What? I can't answer that question. There is too much about you that I do not know. You want to write what? Poetry? Stories? A novel? Essays? Have you written anything substantial? Has anyone (aside from your family and close friends) read it?

I'm not sure what you're asking, but if you want to fix your grammar, sign up for a grammar class with the public schools or with a local community college. You might also pick up Strunk and White's THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE or some other book on grammar.

Worse than having a weakness in grammar, if you plan on becoming a writer, is having a weakness in reading. . . do you read a lot? Have you read a lot? If not, go out and start buying novels, short story collections, poetry collections, or collections and books in whatever genre of writing you aspire to work in.

I hope this helps.

Thanks,

Preston

Visit Screwiowa.com

Hey folks--here's a great new website to visit screwiowa.com.

My friend Nina Romano is doing some exciting things on that site. Plus there's a nice little piece I wrote about the craft of writing.

Thanks,

Preston

Let's Say P was real . . .

Q: In your novel ALL OR NOTHING, Let's say P was real. How would his family feel about his nearly confessional novel being published? How do writers and people associated with them cope with the truth in novels? Do the living's feelings and dignity indirectly censor some of the things the author planned to write?

Thanks,

Alexander

A: Good question.

First, go read John Dufresne's excellent creative writing text called THE LIE THAT TELLS A TRUTH, or just sit there and ponder the meaning of that title.

Second, maybe I need to stick my motto on my door and on my bumper sticker so that people will know who I am: "My name is writer. I am the most honest liar you will ever meet."

Third, I would hate it if my family wrote a novel with me in it because they don't know how to lie; therefore, they would depend too much on the truth and end up hurting my feelings and my dignity with their blunt, clumsy, insincere, dishonest honesty.

On the other hand, big fat liar that I am, I write about THEM all the time, and they don't even notice.

One of my great private joys is that the cousin about whom I based "IS RANDY ROBERTS THERE?" (found in CHURCHBOYS AND OTHER SINNERS, Carolina Wren Press, 2003) is a great fan of the story and has no idea it's based on her. Tehehe.

I come from a very close-knit family, even though sometimes we hate each other, and thus there are some books that I cannot (and will not) write until certain people are dead or until I find a lie big enough to conceal their identities while at the same time revealing the truth the work aims to explore.

Fourth, it is indeed a long list of writers who have created works of fiction that have offended the friends and family members who read it and, shock of shocks, who found themselves unfavorably portrayed in it.

Fifth, before my mother passed, she read the manuscript of my forthcoming novel, JESUS BOY, which she enjoyed--I never saw her laugh so much in my life. But she did ask over and over, "Who is Sister Morrisohn in real life? Is it Sister Slade? Sister Bynes? Boy, did Sister Bynes seduce you? I cannot believe that that grown woman make a move on my child!"

And I'm like, "No, ma. I did not sleep with Sister Bynes, OR Sister Slade. This is a fiction, ma. Hahaha."

But you could see in her eyes she didn't believe me. My mother went to her grave wondering which respected sister at our church seduced me when I was 15 or 16.

Sixth, I will tell you again that my novel BOUNCE is autobiographical--just as autobiographical as JESUS BOY and ALL OR NOTHING. The protagonist of BOUNCE is a short, sexy Domincan woman named Cindique. Go figure.

Seventh, I am a gambler and P is a gambler. Thus, I know gambling. It makes me the ideal person to tell P's story, whoever he is. Is P me? Yes, in many ways, but in many ways not.

I was a church boy and Elwyn (from JESUS BOY) is a church boy. Thus, I know church boys. It makes me the ideal person to tell Elwyn's story. Is Elwyn me? Yes, in many ways, but in many ways not.

Eighth, in my next novel, THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ALEXANDER, I am going to tell the story of my former student Alexander Cherin . . .

Is Alexander me? In that book. he will be.

Thanks,

Preston

MY BAD

A: MY BAD

I just got an email that says I misunderstood the last question. The emailer was asking which of the erotic stories that I have written are my favorites.

Okay, thanks for the question, now that I understand it.

In Carol Taylor's BROWN SUGAR series, I would have to say that NADINE'S HUSBAND is my favorite. It is well written, touching, and STORY is the most important element in it. It set the standard for all four stories I wrote for that series. STORY comes first--all other elements, including sex, must flow logically and smoothly from the story.

I also like SOUTHERNMOST TRIANGLE, which shows up in WANDERLUST (edited by Carol Taylor) because that is the first time in any of my stories (published or unpublished) I wrote a threesome scene that worked, in my opinion, because it flowed from STORY.

In my novel BOUNCE, which is an unabashedly erotic novel, the Boo-Hoo scene is tops as far as I am concerned.

In COME WITH ME, SHEBA, Chapter 19 works for me as a culmination of erotic energy--Chapter 19 is so hot I had to write it in parts. As I recall, Chapter 19 has 6 parts.

I hope that answers your question.

Thanks,

Preston

Erotica

Q: Two questions. First, you say that sex is one of those things you do not talk about along with religion and politics, but I have read with pleasure your erotic stories. What's up with that? Second, What are your favorite erotic stories?

A: I do not discuss sex, religion, or politics in public--it makes too many enemies and it usually ends up with one party espousing a belief rather than defending an argument. I do not talk about these topics but I do write about them. A lot!

The stories that I found to be so hot that I started writing my own erotica are listed here in no particular order and I apologize in advance for not including in some instances the author's name.

Michael Hemmingson's THE DRESS and THE NAUGHTY YARD. Sweet Jheezus, I still re-read these two lengthy (novella length) stories from time to time for inspiration to write my own pieces. Hemmingson is a very dirty boy with a wicked sense of humor and an even wickeder way with describing bedroom delights. I read most of his stuff in Maxim Jakubowski's MAMMOTH BOOK OF SEX anthologies. He's got about ten of them out there--and they're all full of good sex writing.

A short story called PG DIARY is also great for sexual inspiration on the part of yours truly. I apologize because I cannot recall the author's name without consulting the book which I do not have here in front of me, though she and I communicated via email for a while after her story came out in one of Suzy Bright's anual anthologies: I think it was Best Erotica of 2000? 2001? It's a great story about two pregnant girls who are roommates at one of those special schools for wayward teens. The story is sweet and sexy and poignant and it rings of truth.

In that same Suzy Bright anthology there was a story called SWEATING PROFUSELY IN MERIDIA that was DAYUMMM hot too. I need to go find that book and give you the names of the writers.

I found the book! It is Susie (not Suzy) Bright's THE BEST AMERICAN EROTICA 1994. The author of PG DIARY is Linda Hooper, and Carol Queen is the author of SWEATING PROFUSELY.

In my hand I also have Susie Bright's 2001 edition of that collection and there is a story called THE MAN WHO ATE WOMEN by Damian Grace. DAYUMM. This one took me back to college life and its wayward ways.

REASONS NOT TO GO TO FT. LAUDERDALE by Liz Clarke (clark?) was in an anthology I lost but need to re-purchase called SLOW HAND by Michele B. Slung. I used to read that one a lot for inspiration. There is another story that nailed college sex antics in the 80s.

Brian Fawcet (Fawcett?) wrote a story called Cuckoo in Maxim Jakubowski's MAMMOTH BOOK OF INTERNATIONAL EROTICA. If you want to learn how to write well and earnestly about threesomes, this is a good story to begin with. Very erotic. Very meaningful.

Marge Piercy's novel THREE WOMEN has a DAYUMM good section in it that I have seen anthologized somewhere. Or you can just buy her novel. It's the scene when Elena and Evan invite the new kid Chad into their sex games. Another good section to study to learn how to write threesomes earnestly and well. Too often in so-called erotica the threesome is drawn from cookie cutter and porn-flick cliche.

I'm a big fan of Anais Nin, so I love pretty much everything she has written--excluding her autobiographical stuff. Check out LITTLE BIRDS or DELTA OF VENUS.

Now let me tell you about the landmark collection EROTIQUE NOIR. That's my bible. The story in it I return to the most is THE THREE TOKEN STRADIVARIUS by R. Pope.

In the BROWN SUGAR anthologies by Carol Taylor (in which my works appear), the stories I return to the most are DRAG by Leone Ross, MOVIE LOVER by Michael Gonzales, and HOW I BECAME A WRITER by Lois Elaine Griffith.

Of course, THE STORY OF O is a favorite erotic read of mine--many scenes in that book are returned to time and time again.

Eric Jerome Dickey's BETWEEN LOVERS has a great threesome scene when Nicole and her wife make love to the narrator--DAYUMM.

A goodly number of my favorite erotic stories and scenes came as a surprise to me because they showed up in novels and story collections that had little or nothing to do with sex. If I have time I will make a list of them.

Three that come to mind are KISS OF THE SPIDERWOMAN by Manuel Puig, KINFLICKS by Lisa Alther, INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison, and RULES OF ATTRACTION by Brett Easton Ellis.

I'm out.


Preston

Glad That You're Back

Q: Glad That You're back! Where were you? How has your career been going since you last blogged?

A: I'm back, I guess, because I never left. I just took a little break. I am not a true blogger, you know? There are all of these fancy things that blogs can do that mine can't and never will because I am not interested in wasting time learning how to do them. I am a writer, not a blogger. So I write, and if I have enough time and energy left over I write on the blog.

Lots of good things have been happening since last I blogged. At the very top of the list is my old friends at Akashic, who are currently editing my new novel JESUS BOY, which is due out some time in early 2010.

I am pumped! And I think the readers have waited long enough to meet the horny born again teen piano prodigy Elwyn and his much older cougar lover Sister Morrisohn, both of whom have lived in my head since . . . since I was a horny born again teen piano prodigy myself.

JESUS BOY is one of those weird books--I began writing it when I was Elwyn's age, 16, and I completed it when I was Sister Morrisohn's age, 42.

Enough about that.

I attended the Algonquin Pitch Writing Workshop in New York in March. Thanks to my wife and the bad economy, I was able to stay in a swanky Manhattan hotel across the street from the U.N. dirt cheap.

I got to meet Charles Salzberg (Swann's Last Song) and had my very positive tete a tetes with editors Sandy Harding, Zach Wagman, and Tom Colgan (Tom Clancy's editor). I am hoping one of these top editors, each of whom liked my pitch enough to request a read of the novel, will make an offer I can't refuse.

The novel is called The Virgin of Biscayne Boulevard. Wish me luck (or as Elwyn might say, Pray for me).

So I took a class at the MDC/St. Thomas University's Earth Ethics Institute this past semester. For the final assignment in that class, I wrote the short story, which became the novella, which became the full blown novel, EVERY BOY SHOULD HAVE A MAN, which is about a world where man is a house pet and the real masters of the earth are the Oafs, or Giants (as in David and Goliath Jack and the Beanstalk giants). But really, the book is about the environment. More on this later.

I have a story, THREE KISSES, coming out in a new erotic anthology edited by Robert Fleming. More on this later.

And I keep re-configuring my collection of psychopath short stories and changing its title--these days I am having a hard time finding titles for my books. Writing is easy. Titling is hard.

At any rate, I'm back!

Thanks,

Preston

Characters That Are Smarter Than the Writer

Q: How do you write about characters that are smarter than you are?

Thanks,

AC

A: AC, it was great having you in class this semester. And, actually, I'm going to use your name, if you don't mind, because your short story is up for a major award--the League for Innovation Prize, and though I haven't heard back from the national judges yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that you are going to win it. We are all very proud of you at MDC, Alexander (Cherin).

Now back to your question. First of all, no character is smarter than you because you are the writer, which makes you God and thereby all powerfull and all knowing.

LOL

But never mind that. The most tried and true method for creating really smart characters is to base them on real life brainiacs. The first step, of course, is to do the research. Study the writings of the brainiac--get a bio or two on them--read up on what others have said about them, especially the writings of those who have had personal encounters with them like their friends, family, and colleagues. In this way, you will get a good feel for their personal characteristics and a sense of how others perceive them--and usually you don't need more than that to write your fictionalized clone of them. In fact, a good book about two great brains is on my list on this page--The Professor and the Mad Man--which is a really great read.

Now here is my question to you: Why do we find it difficult to write about people smarter than we are when we have no problem writing about people stronger, older, younger, sexier, braver, uglier, taller, shorter, more athletic, or more talented than we are?

Thanks,

Preston