At the Pen Festival 2010

At the Pen Festival 2010
© PEN American Center/Susan Horgan. All rights reserved. Please contact media@pen.org for usage and rights.

December 26, 2009

How Does One Stop Gambling?

Q: Loved your book. If there is one thing you know, Mr. Allen, it is the gambling world. Your book brought many smiles to my face and it also made me face a tragic reality. I am hooked and maybe there is no way out for me. This gambling thing is ruining my life. Believe it or not, I am the kind of guy you wrote about who will borrow money to gamble and leave his bills unpaid. I went for three weeks without gas to heat my home because I could not afford to pay the gas man. I froze my butt off! The funny thing is that minutes before I left the casino that last time, I had won enough money to pay the gas man to turn my gas back on AND TO BUY FOOD. Sadly, like most gamblers, I kept right on playing and soon had LOST IT ALL BACK. I drove back home to a freezing house. I froze for three weeks. I didn't even have enough money to buy one of those portable electric heaters. Every night as I lay bundled up in 300 blankets, I cursed myself for being so stupid. Why couldn't I just leave when I was winning? Why couldn't I just get up and leave? The funny thing, the sick thing, the really sick thing, is that during those three weeks of cold, I was twice able to borrow money from friends to turn back on the gas and what did I do with the money they loaned me? I went to the casino and lost it all. During those three weeks of cold I thought about a lot of things under those blankets. Like my life savings, which was all gone, like the love of my life, who had dumped me, and most of all how pathetic I was under all of those blankets thinking about how angry I was that I could not gamble. That's right. Despite all that I had lost, the main thing on my mind was to gamble some more. I had lost over a hundred thousand dollars in life savings. I had blown, as usual, that month's pay check (I get paid once a month). I was freezing my butt off in the richest country in the world. Enough was enough. Since that time I have been strong enough to fight it. In the last 30 days I have only visited the casino like twice and have had the strength to get up and leave with money in my pocket when I started losing. It is hard, but I am fighting it. I think I can beat this thing. Memories of the cold are hard to forget.

A: Thanks for the letter. Sorry that I had to edit it. I loved it, but there were a few granmmar issues and also I don't think it is wise to put your personal information out there like that.

I am glad that you are fighting it, and I wish you luck. But in the interest of the uninformed who are reading this post I have to be blunt with you:

You are full of crap and you will fail.

Your strength alone is not enough to stop you from gambling. Your strength? LOL. You are a punk. You blew a hundred grand after working for God knows how many years at a job you probably hate and just because you grew icicles on your nose, you think you are strong enough to beat gambling? Wake up, Frosty the Snowman! You are in denial, and denial is going to suck another hundred grand out of you if it doesn't kill you first. Are you a casual gambler? No. You are a GAMBLER in all CAPS. If you are a gambler, there is no in between. The casino is there to do one of two things: Take ALL of your money, or convince you to commit suicide.

You were not strong enough to stop when you were down ten grand. You were not strong enough to stop when you were down 50 grand. You were not strong enough to stop when you had blown 100 hundred grand (and probably blown through all of your credit cards) and were living paycheck to paycheck. Now you actually believe you are strong enough to stop after a few cold nights? Brother, the nights are always cold for a gambler.

If you want to show strength, pick up the phone and dial 1-888-ADMIT IT. Join GA now! These people can help you--if you are ready to be helped and not just talking crap, like I know that you are.

If you want to show strength go back to the casino and speak to the floor man or the pit boss. Tell them these words: I WANT YOU TO BAN ME FROM THIS CASINO FOR LIFE.

They will do it, and you will not be allowed to go back there.

You, my friend, have had a chilly winter, but you have not hit rock bottom yet. But you will one day soon, and it is going to make your chilly winter seem like a warm day at the beach.

Stop talking crap and get help. You cannot do it alone.

None of us can.

One does not stop gambling by going to the casino! Duh!

Great letter, though.

Thanks,

Preston

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