I'm Cold

I got up Wednesday morning, and I was cold. Cold!

I have been wearing suits all week because they are the warmest garments I own. Sudden realization. I do not own any winter clothes.

Ponder this: go out and buy a good winter coat and hat for the one or two times in three years that you will wear them. No way, said I.

But the arctic blasts, as they call them, continued to blow and Wednesday morning, in my suit and hat, I was cold. Cold like a South Floridian in 30 degree weather.

Scroll back to Monday. I forgot my watch at home so I took a break from the office and went to the drugstore--hoping to find a cheap timepiece to get me through the day. "No luck," said the manager. "All of our watches were sold as stocking stuffers during Christmas. It's not an item we regularly carry. We might have some in the store again around Valentine's."

No luck with the watch. Not a problem.

And the store was full of scarves, gloves, portable heaters, and warm winter hats. How toasty. LOL.

Oh, I laughed. Yes, I did. Floridians just cannot take a little chill, tittered I. They're selling all of this stuff for 50 degree weather. Hahaha. LOL. Hahaha, laughed I. Oh and by the way, I don't even need a watch. I forgot that I can just use the clock on my iPhone. Hahaha. LOL. Hahaha, I laughed on. Merry, merry me, who flinches not in the chill of 50 degree weather. I laugh out loud at your 50 degrees. Bring it on!

Here it is Thursday morning. I am in the drugstore again. All of the warm clothes have been sold. They are completely out of warm winter caps. They are completely out of portable heaters.

Who's laughing now, funny man?

Not me. I'm freezing. Thirty degrees is too much even for me.

My prospects for survival are not good. They say the chill is going to last through the weekend and I am running out of suits. I think I'm going to head over to the Burlington Coat Factory and pray they've got something warm and toasty in my size.

Thanks,

Preston