Are You Anti Gambling?

Q: Are you anti-gambling? Do you wish there were no casinos? In your other blog, you attack the idea of a state-run lottery.

A: Am I anti-gambling?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No, I am an addict. Therefore, I am pro-gambling. I wish I could gamble. I wish I were gambling right now. The problem is that gambling, for me, is destructive. [[Is there such a thing as "constructive" gambling?]] Therefore, I pray that I never ever see the inside of a casino again. I pray this everyday.

But the state-run lottery . . . well, look at it like this--

If you are a crack dealer and you need to make more money, all you have to do is raise the price of crack.

If you run a state lottery and you need to make more money, all you have to do is raise the price of gambling: create numbers-games and scratch-off games that take in more money and pay out less.

Like, for example, add $2 or $3 bucks to the price of the lottery ticket with the enticement that if the player wins, he/she will get an extra 10 or 25 million dollars added on to the prize [[the 1 in 13 million odds to win doesn't change at all, just the price to play--from 1 buck to 2 or 3 bucks, suckers!]]

If you are a crack dealer and you need to make more money, all you have to do is find more customers: children are the future--pass out free samples at the junior high.

If you run a state lottery and you need to make more money, all you have to do is find more addicted customers: children are the future--advertise in front of the kiddies--as soon as they turn 18, they're as addicted already as their parents.

If you are a crack dealer and you need to make more money, all you have to do is make your old customers increase their consumption of the product: I have no idea how a crack dealer would accomplish this feat. But a state running a lottery--

If you run a state lottery and you need to make more money, all you have to do is make your old addicted customers increase their consumption of the product: create games that are more addictive (check out the newest scratch-offs--they are not only expensive but they have lots and lots of bells and whistles to keep you excited as you scratch); create games that can be played more often (now the Cash-3 and Play-4 can be drawn TWICE a day--Fantasy 5 can be drawn 7 times a week--Mega Money can be drawn twice a week--and the lottery is also played twice a week.


Get the picture?

To earn millions in revenue, the state is pushing a drug called gambling on its addicted citizens--and pushing it hard. But the same state is also spending millions to "cure" its addicted citizens.

But then the same state is finding ways to increase the number of addicted citizens and also to make them MORE addicted because the state needs to earn more revenue.

This is crazy. Somewhere in there is a dog endlessly chasing its tail. Somebody stop him please!

Figure out what you are, oh great state. Are you my pusher or are you my saviour?

I am a sick degenerate gambler and so I love the lottery with every ounce of my being, but even a wastrel such as I can see that the state should be in the business of curing those plagued with a vice, and not in the business of increasing their dependence on it.

And people, please stop asking me gambling questions. I'm drooling all over my good shirt.


Preston